Monday, 23 August 2010

Stroke Recovery: Going Home

It's funny how your attitude can change when you view things from a different perspective...

There are three poems on going home that show a progression of feelings. Waiting to go home once you are well is so hard because you are so bored in hospital. Every little annoyance gets multiplied (like no one coming when you buzz) and home looks very inviting.

Going Home 1

The hours seem to pass so slow,
It's harder on my own.
While I wait for that special day
When I am going home.

So many things to organise,
And so much to arrange,
Equipment to be ordered in,
And things at home to change.

I know I'm going very soon,
But I don't have a date.
And all of this uncertainty
Makes it so hard to wait.

Each little irritation seems
A massive thing to bear.
Each hour of waiting seems to be
An hour more of care.

I think that when the date is set,
T'will be the hardest known
To bear the wait until the day
When I am going home.

This is the second of my poems about going home. Having longed for it so much, at the last minute my thoughts did a complete reversal, to my surprise. I suddenly realised how hard it could be for us to cope on our own. We would not have nurses available at the press of a buzzer. Going home became a scary prospect.

Going Home 2

As the long-awaited day approaches:
Hospital release and going home,
Suddenly a new thought rises:
Going to the great unknown.

Frustrated by the endless hours
Waiting with nothing to do,
Suddenly it's so familiar,
Safe and routine, tried and true.

Home, long-missed and fond remembered,
Now looked on with great unease.
Things have changed, my life is different.
Sudden fears begin to seize.

Unexpected feelings surface,
Want to go but fearful too.
Then appears the thought that comforts:
I am going home to you.

This is the last of the going home trilogy. First I looked forward to going home, and then I was afraid. But then came the day that it actually happened.

Going Home 3

The great day comes for new adventure –
Going home to start a new life.
Go from doctors, friendly nurses,
To just us, husband and wife.

Home, familiar, sweet-remembered,
Is an alien landscape now.
Bed downstairs with new equipment.
Find a new routine somehow.

Journey home is over-tiring,
Husband has so much to do.
But very soon we discover
How to work with just we two.

Very soon the routine settles,
Alien is familiar now.
We can start the new adventure.
Future's not so scary now.

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