Sunday, 17 August 2008

Suffering - Personal

I haven't posted for a few days because I have been very low. I suffer with fibromyalgia, which for those who don't know, is like having arthritis and the flu at the same time, without the coughing and sneezing. although in my case, on top of everything else, I have had a tickly cough that keeps me awake nights, since before Christmas. It comes and goes, and at the moment it has gone. Which is just as well, because fibromyalgia is actually a nerve disease, and has decided to have a go at my face. I currently have neuralgia and toothache. My Dentist says it is agravated by stress, and work has been very stressful lately (see other post).

So after the long list of woes, here is what I wanted to say about it. In my post on suffering under 'These things I know' I wrote about the theory. I want to tell you that for me it is not theory, it's life. I am very low at the moment because the pain is very wearing, and I just get fed up being ill sometimes. But underneath it all I know I have someone who not only understands, but gives me strength to cope - God.

It says in the Bible that God's mercies are new every morning. I used to think He wasn't being merciful to me when I woke up in pain, but then I realised I should be glad I woke up at all. Every morning God gives me another day to enjoy, to spend with my friends and family who love me, to get satisfaction and pleasure out of work and recreation, even if I am limited in how much I can do. Life is never hopeless because God is always there. I tend to get lowest when I forget that and wallow in self pity. Mind you I think I'm entitled to a little self pity now and again!

There's lots more I want to say, but I think it's best in little pieces, so watch this space.

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